What's good World!?
I just came home from a short (& much needed) trip to the Dominican Republic. Some of you might know that I've had a crazy year and I really had to put some things that I've experienced in perspective. I've been around the world but I’ve never had a vacation in my whole life [/ironic]. The day before I left, I felt a little nervous about being 7250 km (4504 miles) away from my studio, work and the fact that there was a big chance I would not feel comfortable with nothing out there to keep me busy. It started slowly at first but I'm happy to say this was not the case.
I know I'm not the most extrovert person when it comes to what goes around inside my head or the things that happen behind the curtains. I’ve always felt that my way of sharing this should be through my music, good or bad. Less talking, more music, though I haven't been as productive as I wanted to be because of all that I've had to deal with lately. I know an artist’s personality can add to a certain image or even change the way you listen to their music, but I've always tried my best not to get caught up in the mix.
In my opinion I'm the biggest optimist there is, but starting last week it felt like the cup was no longer half full. It was running over (and not in a good way).
The car crash in January, way too many funeral services, laying there on Intensive Care with tubes & pumps going down my stomach and being hooked on countless machines and IV's after the shooting, made me realize that these were not things you can just shake off. Trust me when I say I've tried. I'm a strong believer of ''mind over matter'', only sometimes the mind wants to go left and your physical being just cannot keep up with you. This sort of felt like the situation I was in for a long time. In my world everything was all good and I never understood why the doc's advice was to ''take it slow and take time to recover'', when I was released from the hospital. Let's just say the closest people around me, could probably tell you some stories about the way I deal with obstacles (shout out to all my Taurus's).
They've put me on display in the media. I've seen comments on Dutch forums of people wishing me dead. People that have never even heard about me or my music. It basically came down to me deserving to die because of my love for Hip Hop and a ''rapper'' (/songwriter/singer/producer) getting shot, is business as usual. The bright and more important side however, was a whole movement of people all over and around the world that showed support in whichever way they chose to show it. This was the first time in my career my eyes got fully opened. It felt like God gave me an opportunity to repay certain debts that were still floating above my head, so that new doors could be opened for me. I've seen my life flash before my eyes more than once or twice, only this time the light at the end of the tunnel seemed a bit brighter. I was given a choice to either meet my creator or reach whatever goals I was sent here to accomplish. I'm still here so I guess I got a job to do..
Slowly but surely my health is recovering and I'm starting to make plans on finishing some projects that I've promised you. I don't know where the urge to write this came from, but I guess I just want each and every one of you to know that you’re the reason I'm still doing this. Every comment, email, thumbs up, blog post, radio-spin I get, shows that it has been, is and will be worth it.
Believe in me like I believe in y’all and everything will fall into place..
Thank you.
